From One Generation to Another: Mildred and Candace talk life, love and retirement
Mildred, a widowed retiree originally from Northampton, made the move to Hughenden Gardens Retirement Village three years ago to be closer to family in Cressex. Following the passing of her husband, Mildred faced a significant life change. With a large family home and garden to manage, and her family living at a distance, she sought a supportive environment to begin her new chapter.
Her granddaughter, Candace, has been a key emotional support to her nan throughout the process of Mildred’s transition into retirement living. Here they discuss the decision and how they’ve both adjusted to Mildred’s new life and busy social calendar.
Nan has a social schedule which is as busy as mine, or busier and I love that for her! It’s so reassuring to see her enjoying herself and surrounded by great people. I don’t have to be in “bodyguard mode” anymore, and that’s a big relief.
Mildred were you nervous about the move?
Mildred: No, I’m not really a nervous person. I take one step at a time and make the most of situations. That’s my philosophy.
Candace, what was it like for you when your nan moved in?
Candace: It was a big step, but the best one. My mum really led the way on the logistics, and I just wanted to make sure Nan felt safe, supported, and happy. I honestly couldn’t be prouder of how she’s settled in.
Mildred, how have you found daily life in the community?
Mildred: I really enjoy it. I’ve made new friends, and I look forward to the evening entertainment. During the day, I come downstairs for lunch or tea, or just to chat, play games, crosswords, wordsearches, bingo, and cards. There’s always something to do.
What does a typical week look like for you?
Mildred: On Mondays, I’m in the singing group, Tuesdays I join the prayer group, Wednesdays I relax with others, and Thursdays I look forward to the cabaret. Every day has something different.
Would you say there’s a strong sense of community here?
Mildred: Absolutely. Most people are very friendly and welcoming. If anyone is in trouble, we’ll always check in and help. Of course, some prefer to stay in their apartments, and that’s okay too, but the opportunity to socialise is always there.
Candace, how does it feel seeing your nan so involved and busy?
Candace: I love it. My nan is the life of the party. She’s so full of energy, it’s like she’s turned 21 again. Nan has a social schedule which is as busy as mine, or busier and I love that for her! It’s so reassuring to see her enjoying herself and surrounded by great people.
Mildred took part in BBC One’s ‘Rose Ayling Ellis’s Old Hands New Tricks’ earlier this year learning sign language with fellow residents.
Mildred, do you feel safe and secure in your apartment?
Mildred: Yes, I do. We have safety bells in the apartment, and no one knocks on my door after 10pm. I feel comfortable and protected here.
Candace, does the setup make you feel reassured as a family member?
Candace: Completely. When my grandad was alive, it was hard for them to manage on their own, especially with us living far away in London. Now, there’s support right downstairs, neighbours who can help, and excellent security systems in place. I don’t have to be in “bodyguard mode” anymore, and that’s a big relief. I think as the oldest granddaughter, I always just want to make sure my Nan is ok in every way, whether it be her health or making sure that where she is living is safe and it’s beautiful now.
How does it feel having all your bills included and no house maintenance to worry about?
Mildred: It’s a weight off my shoulders. Managing a big house and garden was getting too much. Here, everything is taken care of, there’s no stress about the boiler or the garden!
What’s your apartment like?
Mildred: I have a lovely view of the hills and some swings nearby where I sit and enjoy the outdoors. It’s peaceful and I really like it.
What would you say to someone new moving into a retirement village?
Mildred: Don’t stay in your room all day. Come down, have a drink, see what’s going on. We have so many facilities, computers, art, a hairdresser, even a supermarket that takes requests. There’s something for everyone.
Candace, would you recommend retirement living like this to other families?
Candace: 100%. Think ahead. Help your grandparents find a place where they can thrive, not just live. It’s about giving them a second, or third stage of life to truly enjoy. My nan’s happiness speaks for itself.
Mildred, are you happy with your life at Hughenden Gardens?
Mildred: I am. I feel safe, comfortable, and surrounded by kind people. It’s not about replacing the past, but about making the most of the present.
Candace, how has this changed your relationship with your nan?
Candace: She’s always been a second mum to me in many ways, but now I get to enjoy her in a new way. I love it. I love visiting my nan and being with nan’s friends as well, this morning we were all just sitting at the table having a coffee. They’ve got so much life in them, it just goes to show that age doesn’t prevent you from living and having fun. I’m very proud of my Nan. I love that Nan’s around people who are full of energy and full of life. It’s a blessing.
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